At some point in life, many of us begin asking deeper questions. Questions about meaning, direction and what we truly want from the years ahead.
You may have spent decades building a career, raising a family or supporting others. Then one day you pause and realise you are not quite sure what you want anymore. This happened to me when my coach asked me a seemingly simple question, “Who is Emma?”, and I couldn’t answer.
In Episode 3 of my podcast, The Purposeful Shift, I explore what I think purpose really means and how we can begin rediscovering it, particularly during midlife when many people start reassessing their priorities and identity.
In this post, I want to share five powerful questions that can help you reconnect with what truly matters to you.
What Does Purpose Really Mean?
When people talk about purpose, it is often framed as a job title, a big life mission or a single defining moment. But I believe that in reality, purpose is much broader than that.
Purpose is about how you live, what energises you, and how you want to contribute to the world around you.
Research suggests that having a sense of purpose is strongly linked to wellbeing, resilience and life satisfaction. People who feel their lives have meaning tend to experience greater motivation and overall happiness.
And I think it’s important to note that purpose does not have to be dramatic or world changing. Sometimes it is simply about aligning your life with what genuinely matters to you.
Why Purpose Becomes More Important in Midlife
Psychological research shows that people commonly reassess their goals and identity during this stage of life as their priorities shift and life experience deepens.
Midlife often brings a natural period of reflection as we realise that we could literally have less time left than we’ve experienced already.
For women in particular, this can be a time when they realise they have spent years prioritising the needs of others. Careers, families and responsibilities may have taken centre stage, leaving little space to explore their own interests or ambitions.
Rediscovering purpose during this stage is not about starting over. It is about reconnecting with yourself. Rediscovering who you are, asking yourself the question my coach asked me, “Who are you?”.
Five Questions to Help You Discover Your Purpose
If you are unsure what your purpose might look like right now, reflection is a powerful starting point. I love to reflect and journal and I find it incredibly helpful to identify a number of good and not-so-good thoughts and ideas that are having an influence on my life.
These five questions can help you begin exploring what matters most to you.
1. What Do You Lose Track of Time Doing?
Think about activities that absorb you completely. The moments where you become so engaged that you forget to check the time.
Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi described this experience as “flow”, a state where people feel deeply focused and energised by what they are doing.
These moments often provide clues about what truly motivates you.
2. What Are Three or Four Things You Love Doing?
Sometimes purpose hides in plain sight.
Make a simple list of the activities you genuinely enjoy. These might be creative pursuits, helping others, solving problems, learning new ideas or building something meaningful.
Patterns often begin to appear when you reflect on what consistently brings you energy.
3. What Do People Often Praise You For?
Many of us overlook our natural strengths because they come easily to us.
Think about what others regularly compliment you on. Perhaps you are great at listening, organising ideas, solving problems or bringing people together.
These strengths can provide valuable insight into how you naturally contribute to others.
4. What Breaks Your Heart, and What Would You Love to Help Change?
Purpose is often connected to the issues that deeply move us.
Consider what problems or challenges in the world resonate most strongly with you.
This does not mean you have to solve them alone. But it may highlight areas where you feel motivated to contribute or make a difference.
5. If You Had One Year Left to Live, What Would Matter Most?
This is a powerful question that helps cut through everyday distractions.
If you knew your time was limited, how would you spend it? Who would you prioritise? What experiences or contributions would feel most meaningful?
Reflecting on this question can reveal what truly matters in your life.
Your Purpose Is Not Fixed
One of the biggest misconceptions about purpose that I think we can get stuck on is that purpose is a single thing we must discover once and follow forever.
In reality, purpose evolves. It can change, and it probably should as you change and evolve as a person. Life experiences, challenges and new perspectives can all reshape what feels meaningful.
During the COVID pandemic, for example, I began fostering rescue dogs. What started as a small act of support became a deeply meaningful experience that shifted my perspective and reinforced how purpose can emerge through unexpected experiences. Thinking about question five – the one year left question – I would probably want to spend my time doing work which raises awareness (and money) to help as many of those dogs as possible, because my heart is strongly connected to animals – and dogs in particular.
Purpose grows with us.
Listen to Episode 3 of The Purposeful Shift
In Episode 3 of The Purposeful Shift podcast, I explore the idea of purpose in more depth and share how these questions can help you reconnect with what matters most.
In this episode we explore:
• what purpose really means beyond careers or titles
• why midlife often triggers deeper reflection
• how simple questions can help you uncover new direction
• why purpose is something we live, not something we find
You can listen to The Purposeful Shift now on:
Spotify
Apple Podcasts
Amazon Music
Final Thoughts
Purpose is not a destination you arrive at one day.
It is something you build through the choices you make, the values you follow and the experiences that shape you.
If you feel uncertain about your purpose right now, that is completely normal and totally OK!
Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is simply start asking better questions of yourself and give yourself some space and time to explore those from your heart.